Thank-you Obama and the Democratic Leadership!
Thank-you McCain and the Republican Leadership!
You have once again rescued the American people, this time from economic disaster. You are a wonderful savior. You were smart enough to realize that the first bill in the House asking for 700 billion was not good enough. You rose up and defeated that bill. You instead sent this bill to the Senate--totally disregarding our stodgy and antiquated Constitution, which states that tax bills cannot originate in the Senate--where you knew a better bailout plan could be constructed. There you added earmarks that certainly make this bill even better, incentives for:
- Makers of children's wooden arrows (even our children should get to exercise their 2nd Amendment right)
- Rum imported from Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands (to help us forget our woes in these troubling times), and
- The Wool Industry (keeping the sheep of America employed since 2008)
Now, this plan is truly worth passing: $700 billion for the bailout plus an additional $150 billion in earmarks making a grand total of $850 billion in taxpayer money. This Senate plan will surely get our economy going.
We, patriots of the United Socialist States of America, salute you for your infinite wisdom.
- For knowing that by spending money that we don't have is the best way to fire up our economy,
- for extending a hand to the rich bankers, who made mistakes because sometimes even the rich need to be rescued by those less fortunate,
- for truly believing in the work ethic of my six-month old child and the entire next generation of children, that they will be such hard and studious workers, who will easily be able to pay off this massive debt, and
- for realizing what a quack this guy truly is
