Parenting: God's Rod of Discipline

As a parent (Krisha talking), I see more and more analogies to my role as a mom and the Christian life. My son is at that age where I think he shows hints of rebellion (like shrieking for no reason other than to hear his voice and biting people to test out his new chompers). God's discipline is always something I've struggled to understand.

Proverbs 3:11-12 says: "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in." I never understood how God disciplines us for a "greater good" than now -when I feel grieved to have to discipline my child at such a young age. Chase is like me, unaware of his dad's (or mom's) ultimate purpose in the discipline but learning that he must change his behavior (which I pray becomes heart obedience and not just modified actions).

Sounds all simple as a child right? But what about God's discipline to us as adults? Do we truly believe it is for our good and because He loves us? In that moment when our hand was smacked our our cheek is stinging, when we do not feel like he has comforted us or given us our hearts desires; perhaps He's withheld something or even allowed us to experience suffering; do we truly receive God's rebuke without resentment?

I never realized how much I flee from discipline (as well as suffering). Our culture tells us to minimize pain (and that that is happiness), but I didn't realize that I'm just as weak as my son, wanting to avoid any pain that comes with discipline and rebelling in the moment due to not fully understanding the reasoning. I came across this quote that made me think of God's discipline in a different light.

"To be left uncorrected would be a fatal sign: it would prove that the LORD had said, 'He is given unto idols, let him alone.' God grant that such may never be our portion! Uninterrupted prosperity is a thing to cause fear and trembling. As many as God tenderly loves He rebukes and chastens: those for whom He has no esteem He allows to fatten themselves without fear, like bullocks for the slaughter. It is in love that our heavenly Father uses the rod upon His children. Yet see, the correction is in measure": He gives us love without measure but chastisement "in measure." As under the old law no Israelite could receive more than the "forty stripes save one," which ensured careful counting and limited suffering; so is it with each afflicted member of the household of faith-every stroke is counted. It is the measure of wisdom, the measure of sympathy, the measure of love, by which our chastisement is regulated. Far be it from us to rebel against appointments so divine. LORD, if Thou standest by to measure the bitter drops into my cup, it is for me cheerfully to take that cup from Thy hand and drink according to Thy directions, saying, "Thy will be done."- Charles Spurgeon

I'm sure you've come across those kids in public that go crazy! No discipline at all by the parent standing by watching them run loose in the store. We probably have moments at home where we let offenses slide because we simply feel like we do not have the energy to instruct or correct. But our kids? Never! They would never carry on like those undisciplined hoodlums!

But how many of us actually see ourselves as those kids? We assume we are the opposite kind of parents; we desire well-mannered kids even if it demands consistency and applying some form of discipline. But in our relationship with God, He is the parent and we are the children. Now that I am the child, do I crave God's discipline or would I rather He "let [me] alone?" I confess there are many days that I'd rather run through the store knocking things off the shelves and being left to "fatten myself" with all the ice cream I could eat than receive His discipline knowing it hurts, but it's because He loves me.

Anyone who knows me know I am somewhat of a melancholy person. But I can be encouraged, as Spurgeon points out, that God's love is given without measure! His discipline is limited... but His love endless. So I guess a parent who understands God's discipline is one who still grieves having to use the rod but also one who knows the ultimate goal is to discipline in measure so that love can be given without measure.

Parenting : God's Ferberization

An observation I (Krisha) made several months ago is that my relationship with my son is analogous to my relationship as God's child. I remember the age when Chase started sleeping through the night. I had debated on whether the "cry method" (aka Ferberization) actually made sense or just sounded cruel. Books esteemed it as the sleep method in which you allow your child to cry for a specific amount of time before you respond. This is supposed to allow your child to learn to settle himself although I had heard that in some cases, your child could grow to distrust that the parent will meet his needs.

Chase has actually done really well with the sleep boundaries we've set. If he cried for an extended amount of time I would go in, check his diaper, make sure there was no obvious discomfort and put him back down. I aimed to meet his basic needs while still hoping that he would learn to settle himself. Once he did, it proved very helpful in measuring his cries. I could gage whether his cries were simply "I don't wanna go to sleep mommy" or "something is terribly wrong! Could it be my diaper!?" All in all, Chase is a success story to my variation of the sleep method.

Myself, however... I am a different story. I feel like lately.... no... that is an understatement... for the past 7 months or so, God has used the cry method with me. I am at that stage (eyes rubbed red, puddled in my own drool, pained by my inability to escape His confines, arms outstretched, and countenance distressed that no one is coming to scoop me up out of my misery). How long O Lord?! How long?!

It's amazing that my child still smiles at me each morning when I wake him up, even if I let him whine a little before falling asleep. If only I could trust that God's mercies are new each morning... I have a lot to learn from Chase.


Psalm 28
"To You I call, O Lord my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if You remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to You for help, as I lift up my hands toward Your Most Holy Place." (Psalm 28:1-2)

I'm an aunty! and Brian's an uncle!

We are proud to announce that Jen & Tyler (Brian's sister and brother-in-law) just had their first baby. Welcome Colin James Robinson! He arrived yesterday 11/17/08 weighing in at 8lb. 9 oz. and 21 inches long. Jen was in her 37th week; yeah big Whited babies! Or maybe I should say big Robinson babies? (Chase also in his 37th week was 7 lb. 4 oz... I cannot picture how big he would have been if I had been in my 40th week or even past.)

We are so excited to be aunt and uncle to this cute little guy; Chase is officially a cousin! (Soccer team of 2 and counting....)

For now, here are some pics of Jen & Tyler. I think Chase actually resembles Jen is his cute profile. We are looking forward to seeing this new family of 3 at Christmas!

Jen & Tyler (Congrats to the new parents!)

Brian & Jen at her wedding

Brian, Chase, and Jen

Nostalgic fall...

Brian, my mom and I recently took Chase on a hike to capture the peak foliage on our camera and remind ourselves why we call this home. I got so excited scrolling through these pictures that I can't decide which ones to post. They are all too beautiful.

I feel that part of my identity(Krisha talking) is growing up in these beautiful mountains. As a teen, my favorite memories were during fall because it was cross-country season and it was the one sport where it took all of my mental discipline to be able to endure those miles and yet it was so enjoyable and rewarding because you could get lost in nature's beauty. A run along the parkway, though tiresome and painful on my knees, was easily justified in just the first 5 minutes of forgetting my wordly worries and basking in the colors that are only here for a season.
Growing up, I had fond memories of driving on the parkway with my family to the Peaks of Otter (just outside of Roanoke). There are so many colors for the eyes to see that it is overwhelming!
You feel like you are drowning in God's beauty.

There are reds that burn brighter than the sun,
yellows that are pure as gold, and the sea of orange so rich- that you can taste it!

When I think of autumn here in the Roanoke Valley, I think of stepping onto our porch and feeling embraced by the mountains all around us. I picture the fall leaves whirling around as you go down the street; I envision hiking trails that are so covered with leaves that you hear nothing but their crunch under your feet and you feel like you have escaped civilization and entered into a secret wonderland.

I can taste the warm spiced cider and I yearn to roll down the windows, feel the cool breeze, and listen to the Appalachian music (with the dulcimer) and the folksy bluegrass music; they are rooted in the simplicities of life, the love of family, and the faith in Christ that brings meaning to it all. It makes me proud to be a Virginian.

Once Upon a Pumpkin....

Once upon a time, there were three fun families. They decided that instead of taking an expensive trip, they'd meet in the a town known as the Big Lick. The "bicklickers," as we shall call them for folklore's sake, were known to be friendly and say things such as "y'all." The land was so beautiful that many would come from far and wide (even from VA Beach). While the 3 fun families were contemplating communal living, they thought they'd enjoy God's orange earth by taking a trip to Jeter Farm. (There are pictures below in case you are from a land where orange does not exist. )

On Jeter's Farm, the three families spent time with their young admiring the beautiful fall colors,

going on a hayride,

venturing through a corn maze,


petting (or should I say feeding) some animals at the zoo,
and picking some pumpkins. What makes a perfect pumpkin you ask?

Well, first off, you must be willing to look high and low. It must be perfectly shaped, cheery, and inviting. Appears this man's pumpkin is smiling.

This one has a notable stalk. Quite kissable if you ask me.

This one was hiding amidst some others. Did I mention it may take some diggin' in the dirt?

It must stand out in the patch!

And when you know you've found the perfect one, it will make all other pumpkins pale in comparison!

Oh.. almost forgot. They must be easily transportable! Looks like they picked the best in the patch.

1/4 Indian

When I was a kid, my sister and I would go the Roanoke Indian Association functions with my parents and we always dressed up. Here is a photo of me as a kid in my cute little outfit that showed my belly. I always enjoyed the culture and the dances(the "stick dance" in particular) and the food of course.

So, you may never know looking at me, much less looking at my son, Chase, but he really is 1/4 Indian (the dot, not the feather). My aunt Sabita who Brian and I visited in Mumbai last December gave us this precious outfit for Chase to wear. At the time I received the gift, I was still expecting and so it gave me something to look forward to. It's actually for a 12 month old, but I was anxious to try it on because he's growing so fast.

I think someone wants some mango kulfi!

He's so handsome in his kurta
!

I love this one with his elephant!