I spent the day taking kiddos to church, then lunch-date with Mom & Nu-Nu. I am grateful that I got to spend it with my mom whom I love deeply, who though isn't perfect, seeks to understand me. Of course when Renu & I show up take her to lunch, she has a gift for us! Yep- so like my mom. She's the kind that slips me $20 and says go buy something for yourself, the kind that rearranges her day (and prob spends more in gas than I make) so I can go make my part-time wage. She supports me and keeps up with my busy life. We don't always agree on everything but she is humble, and giving, and considers others first and herself last. She has modeled what it looks like to serve before being served. She doesn't "entitle" herself to what she deserves. She ANTICIPATES my needs and wears her heart on her sleeve. I love her so much and am so blessed!
Thankfully I got to experience THAT before coming home realizing no one put the bug in my kids' ear that it was Mother's Day until about 7pm at which point Chase during Simon says is told "Simon says Happy Mother's Day". I wasn't expecting much. I mean these are the "toddler/preschool years." Can you blame them? They are only 5 and 2. But WOW do I come from a different line of celebration. I don't think it's a sin to celebrate. Perhaps to feel entitled to it-yes. But not to enjoy celebrating people. It made me appreciate how my mom really has the "art of appreciation down."
In all honesty, I LOVE my kiddos. But these have been some TOUGH years. Being honest here people. I'm not going to paint the heavenly cloud pix of mother's day here. My kids and I have "wrestled" a lot as we are in the photos. There are some great moments of laughter. There are some hugs (some even voluntarily given by the kids!). Some I have to squeeze out of them. There are moments that mama's heart breaks by the behavior (heart intent) of my kiddos (like one telling me they hurt the other on purpose. Normal, I know).There are times of sadness, times of craziness, time of boredom (get me out of this house with fighting kids), sillyness and there are times of forgiveness. But it is a mixed bag. Mother's day was a reminder of what it REALLY means to be a mom. I don't mean flowers, gifts, words of appreciation, all those stereotypical things moms desire (though I'll gladly accept any of those!) I mean, it's been a reminder of how needy I am and how God created me that way to look to Him. My kids surely satisfy much of my affection needs and a TON of my humor needs. (And hopefully same goes vice versa!) And they def keep me on my toes and constantly challenge my ability to consistently parent. But lets be honest. Can any human fully meet our needs? Does anyone deserve to carry the weight of that?
I think about how our Father, the perfect Parent, loves grateful hearts. He doesn't care about whether our prayers are prayed eloquently or whether we do our checklist of service or even if we give him all our sacrifices. He's not interested in how pretty our homemade cards, whether we spelled his name right, are or if our chorechart has all smileys. He wants our heart. He wants us to take a moment. Stop. And be grateful for the life He gives.
That wasn't the flowery Mother's Day blog you were hoping for, I'm sure. But sometimes in our brokenness, we hear God whispering to us beautiful truths.