The meaning of Christmas

This was one of the first years that I questioned the meaning of Christmas. I do remember a Christmas (not sure how old I was, but was in grade school for sure) and I remember such excitement about all the gifts and then upon opening everything and taking it up to my room, I felt such an emptiness that I cried. I remember my mom coming in and comforting me and me not being able to put into words what I was feeling but even at a young age, I knew there was more. There was more to Christmas. More than wish lists and believing in a make-believe person that disappeared upon whatever age you found out that he wasn't real. There was more to it than accumulating stuff. Even the nicest present couldn't truly satisfy my heart. It could reflect someone's generosity and love/financial sacrifice for me (don't get me wrong: I LOVE GIFTS and think it might be one of my love languages); but ultimately I will still put my head on my pillow with the same obstacles I had earlier that day. I will still fail. I will still make mistakes and do things that confirm I'm a sinner. I will still struggle with disappointment. No matter what age. No matter how much I am loved. No matter how much I try to fight it. Or try to "be" better or "do" more.

Our pastor preached a message and talked about the week of Christmas being the longest week! The kids are out of school and they just can't wait til Christmas day. They have that expectancy of something great! But then he said, remember that any present under that tree will not ultimately satisfy your longings. Perhaps for the moment. But we are made with those longings on purpose. God created us with a God-shaped void for a reason. It's points us to Him. Even good things: marriage, children, gifts under the tree! They are good, but in and of themselves, they don't satisfy. That "something great" the kids are waiting for......it's Him!!!

I think that this year was the first year that I kinda realized that the advent season is about expectancy, waiting, and hope. I've experienced "expectancy" firsthand in waiting for the birth of my two children and going through the toil, anxiety, and constant sickness of carrying them for 9 (or more in Sophie's case) months! But with the expectancy of Christ, it is different. As much as I LOVE my little bundles of joy and would do anything for them, the birth of Christ and the waiting season is a countdown to our redemption. It is symbolic of how our hearts ache no more. Not that we don't have sorrows in the Christian life but that God reconciled us to Himself through His child. How the hope that Jesus brought to those awaiting Him answered all the prayers, all the longings, all the prophecies, all the expectations of His people. (And even the expectations of those who don't know Him yet!)

I think my mind was very conscious of the "why's" of Christmas because my son is of the age that he is starting to understand it and it's not a matter of just setting a good example. We don't follow a gospel of morality. It's a matter of getting to the meaning of it in the way Jesus intended. I don't mean to sound legalistic or bah-humbugish about it. In fact, I think God wants us to celebrate His Son's birth in ways greater than we can even fathom. He wants us to satisfy ourselves in Him and have every custom, every action, every intention reflect the life He gives us in Christ. So if that is gift-giving, it is gift-giving that involves sacrifice, generosity, and other-centeredness. If that is having a glass of wine, I say "Cheers to Jesus. God has made all things good and we should give Him credit and not overindulge but celebrate with thankful hearts." If that means teaching a two year old that Jesus is why we celebrate Christmas, than it also means commitment to live that out the rest of the year, not just Christmas day. And if the extent that my two year old's understanding comes down to making a birthday cake for Jesus, and coloring pictures of the angel telling Mary she is "with child" and explaining that baby Jesus is different than baby Sophie because He is God in the flesh and without sin, than I say praise the Lord! Praise the Lord that Christ isn't a part of our life. He gives life. He is our life. He isn't just the center of the day. He's the center of the universe! It's kinda silly to think that we feel guilt over giving Him "the stage" on Christmas day in fear of offending some, (hello!!! It's spelled CHRIST-mas) when really He deserves our attention and worship every day!

Here's Chase blowing out the candles on the Happy Birthday Jesus cake!