Parenting: God's Leading Is Two-fold

I read recently in Instructing a Child's Heart (Tedd & Margy Tripp) how instructing your child doesn't just mean correcting bad behavior but using other moments to teach and praise your child. I knew this all along, but never realized what a negative impact it could have on a child to only "teach" them through disciplining bad behavior. It's no wonder that some kids thrive on negative attention. That may be all the attention they get.

I certainly do not claim to be an expert. In fact, my inconsistency with my bulldog proves my lack of "parenting" skills. It does make sense that a child would associate any instruction with punishment if that was the only time you gave it.

Psalm 23 speaks to this: God's rod and staff comforting us. His rod being His authority, knowing what is best and rebuking us when we are in the wrong, but also His staff that supports us. I think part of God's rod and staff comforting us has to do with His mysterious mixture of grace and justice. There are instances that He withholds judgment or gives blessing but also times when He sends us to our knees in repentance. I don't know about you, but I'd surely take God's instruction in the form of a praise for the good I've done than a conviction that leads me to repent of the evil in my heart.

How is it that I should be as comforted by His discipline of my screw-ups as I should be concerning His affirmation of my obedience? Sure feels better to receive praise for obedience if you ask me!

I have noticed with my own son that setting "no limits" is not a form of love or even safe. Chase plays and learns much more when I keep him in the bounds of my pasture (aka on his blanket and not scooching over to the computer cords or towards the scary bulldog). He will, however, cry if I move him back on his blanket when he'd rather explore crawling on our hardwood floors (yeah, letting him do that has backfired on me one too many times) It's sad to see him so upset over desiring something that seems so harmless, but I know that my letting him explore on his own is doing him a disservice. To an extent, just setting that boundary for him, even if he dislikes it, sets some kind of consistency that mom is going to snatch him up and place him back on the blanket. He doesn't appreciate it in the moment, but can you blame him? When God snatches me away from the edge of his pasture, I'm not exactly ecstatic.

But a friend mentioned to me that there is comfort even in that part of God's instruction. We come to learn our boundaries and feel security in them.

Psalm 23: 4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."